


Lights in the city of the damned

by Offbrand_Valk



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fic Collection, I forgot to post it to AO3, Just had it lying around forever, References to sex/sex toys, SO MUCH FLUFF, a bit of angst in 1 chapter, stephcass week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 08:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13360659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Offbrand_Valk/pseuds/Offbrand_Valk
Summary: So yeah, i did all except one of stephcass week 2017 and then forgot to ever post them on AO3The prompts i managed to do were as follows:Day 2 - Doing something childish togetherDay 3 - After a fightDay 4 - Fake datingDay 5 - BondingDay 6 - Coming out storyDay 7 - Marriage





	1. The Highlight of the week

"Cass! Wake up! Cass! Hurry we're gonna miss it!"

Cassandra shot out of bed, batarang in hand!

Her head was still a little woozy after her fight last night with Bane, but from her girlfriend's tone she could tell it was important. She blinked, and looked around a couple of times. Unable to locate any signs of danger, she turned to Steph with a questioning look. Then she noticed the pokéball pajama-pants, today was Saturday she realized with equal parts glee and dread.

Steph grabbed her arm and tried to pull her towards the living room. "Come on! We're missing the opening!" She desperately called out when Cass wasn't moving from her spot next to the bed.

"Netflix?" Cass pleaded, hoping to get Steph to see reason, and let her get back to nursing her cracked rib.

"It's not the same, please Cass." Steph said, pouting and making her eyes the size of tea cups. Unfortunately, all of Cass's training was no match for the patented Stephanie Brown puppy-dog eyes. With a soft whine she grabbed her blanket and stumped towards the living room.

 

In a matter of seconds Steph had them safely blanket-burrito'ed together on the couch, 2 bowls of chocolate cereal with the nutritional value of cardboard (and tiny little marshmallows) at the ready. Cass tried to find the perfect spot for their Mimikyu teddy, and keep her ribs clear of danger, while Steph wiggled for the remote.

The tv was turned on and to the right channel by the power of the Spoilers extensive training in toe acrobatics. It was showing credits. for the morning news. There was still at least 10 minutes of commercials between them and Pokémon...

Cass looked to her girlfriend, normally she didn't mind being dragged along for her hijinks, however 10 more minutes of sleep would have been good. Steph pouted, and pressed an apologetic kiss to her lips.

Cass sighed and leaned into Steph's side, turning out the noise of commercials was no challenge at all, and for once in her life Steph was sitting still. Steph ran her hand through Cass hair, and she could almost fall asleep.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur". Steph quietly sang with a grin on her face, and Cass nuzzled closer. "Happy kitty, sleepy kitty." she continued. "Purr purr purr." Cass finished.

They kissed each other for a long gentle moment. "You're silly." Cass breathed against Steph's lips, only making her grin wider. "I know, and you love me for it."

"Yes." Cass solemnly agreed.

 

The serenity of the moment was broken when the show started, and Steph threw her hands in the air, send her bowl of cereal flying across the room, and began wailing along to the theme song.


	2. Fight of the century

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> really just a thinly veiled excuse to write Cass + Kate bonding

Kate heard her window open, and groaned inwardly. She loved all the batkids dearly, but they were taking on way too many of Bruce's bad habits.

Sitting on her couch and staring off into space with a tight expression on her lips was Cassandra Cain. This was bad, Cass was one of the most stable members of the gang. If she was here it wasn't just to show her a chicken nugget that looked like an eggroll or something.

Kate sat down next to her, and placed her arm next to her to ask permission for a hug. "Hey baby, you want to tell me what happened?" Cass remained quiet, curled into a ball, and nudged against Kate for the offered hug.

For the better part of 10 minutes they sat like that, Cass making herself as tiny as possible, and Kate sheltering her from the world with her arms as best she could. "Fight with Stephanie" the Cass shaped ball whispered, afraid saying it too loud might make it worse.

"I'm sorry to hear that sweetie." Kate cooed into her ear, she wasn't good at being the adult, broken hearts and lovers quarrels on the other hand she knew everything about. "You know what we should do?" Kate asked trying to raise the mood.

Cass looked up at her, her eyes weren't red, but they looked like they should have been. "What?" She asked, hoping her adoptive aunt would know the answer to all her problems. "Get ice cream, especially the chocolate kind."

Cass did not look convinced that it was a better alternative to lying in the fetal position on Kate's couch. "Come on, let's go raid my freezer." Kate said with an encouraging smile that seemed to do the trick.

 

Once Kate got her to start eating ice-cream out of the tub, the next step in Cass recovery from the fight was getting her to watch something comfy. The problem with that being that Steph had been the one to introduce her to most of the movies and shows she liked, meaning they had to try out something new.

After a while Kate convinced her to give "saving face" a shot, the alternative was "bend it like Beckham" and even though this was more serious, at least it had the girls getting together instead of fighting over an Irish dishrag.

She could tell Cass wasn't really watching it, she was looking at the screen, not the things happening on it. Kate just kept rubbing soothing circles on her back and kept the ice cream coming.

 

The door phone rang, and somehow Kate knew exactly who it was going to be. Great, she was spending too much time with the bats too.

"I'll tell her I haven't seen you." she told Cass as she got up to answer. Cass put a hand on her leg to stop her. "No, want to talk." She said calmly, and Kate nodded her understanding.

Right as she had predicted, Stephanie Brown was the one hammering away at her door phone. "She's here Brown, you can stop trying to break the intercom system now."

There was a long pause from the other end, through the spy cam, Kate could see Steph looking at her feet. "Does she... Does she want to talk? Tell her it's okay if she doesn't, I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

Kate looked again to Cass, to give her a last chance to back out, she made no move to indicate her decision had changed. "You better have something good to say for yourself." She grunted into the receiver, she wasn't convinced Cass was making the right choice, however it was her choice to make (and sometimes you needed to make the wrong choices to get where you needed to go, Kate was living proof of that).

The moment Cass opened the door, Steph fell to her knees. "Cass I'm so sorry for what I said, words can't describe how wrong I was! I was tired and that doesn't make it okay, I should have thought more about what I wanted to say, no I shouldn't even have thought it! I'm the worst girlfriend ever, oh god why would you ever take me back!"

Kate had been planning to stand in the background and play the part of friend glaring disapprovingly, but she could see that Cass had it handled on her own, so she went back into the kitchen to give them some privacy.

eventually Steph's ramblings were broken up. Kate went to look, and found Cass swinging Steph around by the waist in the hallway. Both of them were laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their cheeks, and Kate was pretty sure she could see a hint of Steph's lip-gloss on Cass's lips


	3. Making batdad blow his cowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake dating, on april first, cause what's the point of having favorite child privileges if you don't get to use it for pranks once in a while?

"More kisses." Cass said insistently.

Steph wrinkled her brow and inspected her work. "Are you sure? I think we've gone overboard already."

"Yes, shock not realism." Cass confirmed, making Steph shrug and put on a new layer of eggplant colored lipstick. By the time she was finished, Cass's face and most of her upper body was a tapestry of lipstick smears as well as a few hickies just to be sure (which Steph had way too much fun making overexaggerated slurping sounds while she made).

As the cherry on top they made a terrible attempt at hiding the evidence, Bruce would see right through the strategically placed scarf being worn inside during early May. Which was exactly what they wanted.

 

When Cass left her room, she did her best to look both giddy and exhausted. The giddy part was easy, all she had to do was think of Bruce face when her plan came to fruition. The exhausted part was a lot harder, normally she would have been up and about for hours at this point in the day, but to sell the illusion she'd had to "sleep in" late.

She passed by Damian in the hallway, who wrinkled his nose and scowled at her. "Brown." She heard him sneer as he crossed into a different room.

The plan hit a snag when she entered the grand hall and found Bruce sitting at the table with his face buried in case files. It could be hours before he looked up next. "Miss Cassandra, how fortunate to see you're finally up, what of your partner? Has she already left?" Cass was very happy they'd had the foresight to let Alfred in on their plan, he was all too happy to help prank Bruce.

Her adoptive father's face slowly moved up from his files to look at her, while Alfred went to fetch her breakfast. She had to struggle to look embarrassed rather than incredibly pleased with herself as she saw all the color drain from his face.

He coughed a few times, a stalling tactic, then said with his most dad-like voice: "'I'm very happy that you are exploring your sexuality, would you mind me asking who your partner is?"

Alfred came back in with her breakfast not a second later, and remained hovering in the background, sneakily waiting to see the bomb drop.

"Steph." Cass said, shrugging it off as no big deal and digging into her scrambled eggs.

Bruce in the meantime choked on air. "Steph? Stephanie Brown?" He stammered out between fits of coughing.

"Yes, that's me, how can I help you b-man?" Steph said, choosing that exact moment to enter, wearing an aggressively purple pajama, and a shit eating grin that almost screamed: "Hello sir, I ate out your daughter several times last night, and have plans for several repeat performances." That was very far from what had actually happened (platonic netflix and chill), but for some reason Cass found herself thinking: what if it had?

Without a moment's hesitation, Steph sat down in Cass's lap as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Bruce's face changed from pale white to beetroot red. Then Steph started eating food off Cass's plate, and Cass started worrying for his blood pressure.

 

They kept sharing breakfast, and marvel at Bruce trying to keep focus on his files rather than the fact that his favorite daughter was dating his least favorite vigilante.

Suddenly an idea occurred to Cass. Before she could stop herself, she leant in and kissed Steph right on the lips. They hadn't talked about doing that at all when they planned that prank. She hoped Steph would be okay with it, in the name of poking the bear of course.

Steph was more than okay with it, she deepened the kiss! Cass should have seen that coming, Stephanie Brown did not believe in half-assing shenanigans. She had no idea having another person's tongue in her mouth could feel so good!

There was a loud scraping of chairs as Bruce hurriedly stood up and marched out of the room, grumbling something about privacy on the way.

 

When they were sure he was out of hearing range, they broke into laughter, Steph almost falling off Cass lap from the convulsions. "Should we tell him?" Steph asked after they had regained their breath. Cass spent a moment pondering her answer. "Maybe later." She said with a wolfish grin. "Agreed." Steph replied.

Then there was silence between them again.

"So... About the kiss?" Steph said awkwardly. Only then did Cass realize it had been her first, she wasn't sure how she felt about that. "Yes." She simply said.

"Was it just me? or was it nice? Like, really nice? Like maybe want to do it again sometime nice?" Steph asked, nervously biting her lower lip after she finished her question. "Very nice." Cass agreed.

"Should we, should we maybe just... uhm, maybe just stop pretending to date, and you know." Steph gulped. "Date for realsies."

"Yes!" Cass said immediately.

And they kissed again.

And again.

And a few more times for good measure.

Then they retreated to Cass's room to kiss even more

 

In the opposite end of the Manor, Bruce Wayne had to send his cousin Kate a text. "Cassandra just told me she and Stephanie are an item, come get your damned 50$."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was 100% Kate's idea originally, was it because she's just that petty, or because somebody had to make those 2 smooch or they would literally be pining for each other until the end of times? The world may never know


	4. Ice cream, the solution to all life's problems!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might legitimately be the softest thing i've ever written, i'm sorry i just really love writing from Steph's perspective, she's everything

My first impression on the new batgirl probably wasn't the best in the world. I say probably because... Well, she didn't really talk back then, but I did kinda call her a mute demon child made out of criminals' blood and tears behind her back so.

My second impression on the new batgirl wasn't really that much better, considering she had to swoop in and save me from falling off a rooftop, because I wasn't paying attention while practicing the "single ladies" dance.

The less said about 3rd impression the better, let's leave it at the fact that my hair smelled of burned acrylics for a month.

So this was pretty much my last hail Mary attempt to get batgirl to not hate me, and I really needed batgirl to not hate me, seeing as she was pretty much my only chance to have a friend of my own gender I could talk about superheroing with. Technically there were alternatives, I could also go for the oracle who would aggressively sister me, or the scarily buff soldier lady who invited me to a night of drinking and punching transphobes/Nazis.

Besides, I had a sneaking suspicion that Cassandra wasn't really scary or aloof, just shy, and boy did I know how that felt.

Hence: Ice cream!

 

"So I was thinking." I said one night when I "randomly" ran into her on patrol. (Yeah I had absolutely been running around the toughest parts of Gotham for an hour looking for her.) She looked up without saying anything, I guessed that was the closest thing to a reply I would get.

"Do you want to, I dunno, maybe someday, when we're not at work, go, i dunno get ice cream or something." I stammered, it was pretty much the scariest thing I've ever done in my life.

Batgirl got up from her gargoyle, and walked way too far into my personal space. "Yes" She said, and somehow I could tell she was smiling beneath the mask.

 

Me being me, I of course forgot to actually agree on a date, and next thing I knew Penguin's thugs broke into Gotham National and we had our hands full for the rest of the night.

For a few days I figured I had blown my chance for a bonding session. Until Cassandra walked up to me in her civilian clothes one day after school. "Ice cream?" She asked, and I won't lie, I completely forgot what words were because of the smile she gave me.

No but seriously, who taught her how to dress like that? I know I probably wasn't the best judge of fashion, being a gremlin living in an eggplant hoodie myself (granted a flawless princess gremlin, but still: a gremlin). I was expecting jeans and a t-shirt, not a stylishly casual silk shirt of the kind you saw in the fashion magazines your mom left next to the toilet, and you read because you forgot to bring your phone.

After I eventually stopped choking on air, and remembered why this goddess among men just randomly decided she wanted to talk to me about my most favorite topic of all time, I managed to stumble through a "yes".

 

"So uhm, what kind of ice cream do you like, personally I love anything with chocolate or strawberry, but not both at the same time, unless it's white chocolate." I rambled as we walked to the ice cream place.

"Don't know." She said, shrugging as if that was a completely normal thing to say.

"How can you not know what kind of ice cream you like?! Ice cream is like the single greatest invention mankind has ever made! It is the essence of childhood and summer." I said flailing wildly with my arms, had it been anyone but Cassandra I was walking with, I would probably have hit them like 5 times.

"Never had." She replied, and I gasped so loud and for so long that I started seeing stars at the edge of my vision.

"That settles it! We're trying all of the flavors!" I solemnly declared.

 

And so we did, with the exception of rum/raisins because that was the grossest thing in existence! "So, which one do you like best?"

Cass (she told me to call her Cass!!!) wrinkled her nose thoughtfully. "Oreo." She said after a few seconds in thought.

"Oh my god, we are so in sync! Oreo is totally the best! It's like, all the best parts of Vanilla and Chocolate, but with little bits of cookie in it! Hey, did you know Oreo wasn't actually the original brand, the original brand was something called O2 made by a Spanish company. Oreo ripped off the idea and started selling them in the US, so by the time O2 started appearing here, everyone thought they were just knock off Oreos!" I said, then hid my face in my hands from embarrassment over dropping cookie knowledge bombs to a brand new friend.

"Talk lots." Cass said, grinning ear to ear.

"I'm sorry, I'll turn it down I promise." I replied, happy that she was willing to just turn it into a joke.

"No, is nice." She said.

"Oh you are gonna regret saying that, I promise you!" I said, but she never did.


	5. Batgirl's closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this prompt was literally the reason i decided to do stephcass week, if DC won't give Cass a coming out story, then i sure as shit will!
> 
> Also, did i mention that I love batmom Kate, terrible sense of humor and all?

It hit Cass like lightning from a clear sky.

She was in her loft, focusing her mind as she went through her morning exercise routine when the realization came to her.

She was gay.

She had never really thought about attraction before that moment, a result of her upbringing mostly, yet within a few seconds of consideration she was certain that she would never fall in love with a man.

Now she just needed to figure out what to do with that information... That was when the panic set in. Her first thought had been to tell Steph, that was what she usually did when she learned something new about herself. But this was different, what if Steph stopped feeling safe around her because of her sexuality?

She could not let that happen, she had to find someone else to talk to.

 

Cass went back to her exercises and started mentally listing who else she could talk to about this.

Batman? No he would make it awkward with his combined dadness and grumpyness.

Oracle? She would definitely know what to do, though she was also still horribly in denial about her own sexuality, so maybe she wasn't the best to ask after all.

Harper? Harper was bisexual and proud, she would want Cass to scream it from the rooftops, which was the last thing Cass wanted right now.

Kate? She didn't really know that Kate well, she knew she could trust her, and that even though she said she hated being the adult, she was very good at it. Not to mention that Kate had been out for a long time, which could only be an advantage.

 

With that settled, Cass spent the next 2 days opening her phone, writing out the start of a text, deleting it, closing her phone, and opening it again 20 minutes later. She told herself it was the writing that gave her trouble, even though she had by now reached the point where she could write out full sentences (if not very fancy ones) on her own.

The chance that Kate wouldn't be supportive of her was smaller than the chance Steph could beat her in a sparring match, and a few spelling mistakes weren't going to change that. Yet every time she started writing, she felt cold sweat run down her back, followed by a looming sense of dread that only went away by hiding the phone under her mattress and going for a run.

She hated that she was letting herself be beat by a cellphone, and the longer it went on, the angrier she got. She had faced lady Shiva multiple times, she should not be scared of sending a text message!

 

"Cass, can I talk to you for a second?" Kate said after training on the third day after Cass's realization. She nodded, then after a second's hesitation said "yes" to keep her speech practice up.

Kate took off her mask, and Cass followed suit. "You've been off these last few days, not by a lot, I don't even think the other's noticed, but I wanted to check. Did something happen, or did you just get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?" The last part was said to give Cass a way out if she didn't want to talk, she recognized as much.

Cass's immediate thought was to take the out she was given, then she remembered how long she had spent looking at her phone in horror. "I'm gay." She said, unsure how to lead into revealing that. Kate's body language changed several times in the span of a second, as she decided how to respond, in the end she settled on a hug.

Why Kate had decided to hug her, Cass wasn't sure about, she hadn't been hurt or anything. It felt really nice though, and when Kate made to let go, Cass couldn't stop herself from extending the hug a little longer. "Thank you for telling me." Kate whispered to her, and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

 

Kate led her to a quiet corner of the belfry and made tea for both of them. "First of all, I want you to know that this doesn't have to change anything between us. If you just want things to stay the same, then that's what's going to happen. If you want to squeal about girls with me, I'm absolutely here for that too."

Cass smiled, and hid her face behind her mug, that was exactly what she needed to hear. "Thanks." She didn't know what else to say.

"Also, word of advice from someone who's been lesbianing for a long time: Right now some part of you is probably screaming to go out and find a girlfriend. Don't listen to it. You won't be happy in what little time it lasts, and when it's over you'll feel like you had your heart broken for no reason. Take it slow, someday you'll find Ms. right." Kate said, and gently bumped Cass's shoulder.

"Okay." Cass replied, making it clear she had more to say with her body language. She just needed some time to think, she wanted to get the next thing she said exactly right. "I haven't... Told... Anyone else."

Kate kissed her forehead "And you don't have to either, not until you're ready." She said and hugged her again.

"Want. Tell Stephanie. Not ready." Cass hated herself for saying it out loud, Steph was her best friend, she shouldn't be keeping secrets from her.

"Because you're in love with her? or because you're scared what she might think?"

 

Cass heart suddenly felt like a pile of rocks, she had tried to ignore that idea. She couldn't be in love with Steph, that would be the end of their friendship. Steph would be too afraid of Cass trying to make a move on her to treat her the same. This was the worst day of her life.

Kate pulled her into a tight hug. When had she started crying? "Shh baby, shh. She's not gonna hate you no matter how you feel. You're best friends and that will never change."

Cass wheezed and buried her face in Kate's shoulder. "That's right sweetie, just get it all out. It needs to get worse before it gets better." Kate said, wishing she was wearing something that was better to cry into than kevlar.

"Promise me Cass, that no matter how bad it gets, or how much you hate that part of yourself, that you will never be ashamed of it. You're perfect just the way you are." Kate said, and Cass untangled herself well enough to be able to look the taller woman in the eyes. "Yes, promise." She said and stretched out her pinky finger.

Kate took it with her own pinky, and after they had shook on it said. "Besides, I regularly used straighteners all throughout my 20's, and look where that got me! I'm no less gay than I was the day I came out, but my hair got so badly ruined I had to cut it all off!"


	6. Good idea, questionable execution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a marriage fic, what do you want me to say?
> 
> It has everything! Alfred walking Cass down the aisle, Bruce crying dadly tears, finger guns, and Kate and Renee being the embarassing gay aunts

This had been supposed to just be a small thing. A few friends, a backyard and some good food. How in the world had they been talked into a moderate media presence, Wayne tower, and canapés (canapés!)?

At least the press wasn't allowed inside the church, but Bruce had told her with the size of the event and the people involved it would be impossible to keep them away entirely. "and whose fault is that B-Man?" Steph wanted to scream at him, while Cass just got more tempted to call the entire thing off as time went on.

 

Even as she was walking down the aisle, Cass was still wondering if she was making a mistake. Not in marrying Steph, that was without a doubt the best decision she would ever make. In allowing other people in on their special day. She had thought the worst would be over when they had decided it would be Alfred walking her down the aisle to stop Babs, Bruce, and Kate fighting over the right.

Steph was mentally running through her vows for the billionth time, as Selina walked her down the aisles, she was pretty sure she would be reciting them in her sleep for the next month, and at the same time she was convinced she would mess them up when the time came, because that was just the kind of screw up she was. She hadn't had anything to drink all day to keep her mind sharp as could be, and she was very much regretting that decision. She hadn't eaten either, since her dress fit absolutely perfectly right now, and even the slightest bit of tummy was going to ruin that, she would gladly starve herself for the sake of her aesthetic, so long as she remembered not to look at the appetizers.

Somehow some way they both got their vows off without a hitch, and the fairy tale moment lasted all the way through the kiss, which felt so good Steph had a mini heart-attack/orgasm. Neither the paparazzi, nor rice in the bra could ruin the day. In fact, their moods were so high, they were genuinely considering a quickie in the limo while they changed to their party dresses.

 

Canapés aside the party went great! Harper got drunk and started loudly arguing about thermodynamics with Luke, Jason had to get thrown out of the party for his behavior no less than 5 times, and Alfred had made sure to buy cheap sheet cake they could throw at Damian when he said something Damian-like!

 

Most of the presents were bland, way too mature, and coming from people neither of them knew. Seriously who the hell wanted a brand name spice grinder?

Bruce gave them an apartment and the promise of paying all their tuition if they wanted to go to college. Steph had tears and snot running down her face as she thanked him for the most Bruce gift she had ever gotten.

Selina got them a "get out of jail free" card. literally. From the game monopoly and everything. When Cass and Steph looked up from the card, Selina fingergun'd them, and the penny dropped. "Ayyy." All 3 said simultaneously when Cass and Steph returned the fingerguns.

Times had been tough of late for Harper, but she had managed to scratch together for a "personal massager", and if she ever thought she had a chance of getting in Batman's good graces it was lost then and there.

 

Then there was Kate and Renée's gift. They had been aggressively protecting it from peeking since the start of the reception, it was the size of a fridge, and they insisted it could only be opened after midnight.

With so much hype there was around it, Cass and Steph were pretty sure the box was just going to contain packing peanuts and a waffle iron. Still they kept their hopes up, because Kate and Renée were absolutely the wildcards.

At 2am Kate pushed the box up in front of the brides' table, whilst Renée grabbed a microphone. Steph woke up from her cake induced coma, and Cass let Dick out of the chokehold so she could focus on the last present of the night.

"You see, there's a bit of history to this present." Renée began, whilst Kate pulled a combat knife out of her boot and opened the box. "Being the designated gay aunts of the family, we felt it was our responsibility to prepare you for your adult queer life, with a bit of a care package." She continued whilst Kate unceremoniously dumped a pile of flannels, snapbacks, and slogan t-shirts all wrapped in a pride flag in front of them.

The box was still mostly full, and Steph was practically vibrating in her seat to see what else was in there, whilst Cass chose snapbacks for them to wear the rest of the night ("strong athletic queer" for herself, "bi nerd" for Steph). Renée slumped overdramatically. "Then Kate heard Bruce was buying them an apartment, and you know how competitive they get."

Kate and Renée switched places, Kate planting a quick peck on Renée's lips when she handed over the microphone. "Well don't worry guys, there is no second apartment stuffed into this box." Everybody chuckled loudly, probably due to the alcohol.

"However there is:" Renée placed a cardboard box roughly the size of a shoebox in front of them. "A sex swing." Across the room, Bruce spat out his drank, and if there was nothing else in the box, that would have been fine for Steph just to see that face.

However Kate was only just beginning. "A strap-on harness, along with 5 different size dildos. we didn't want to be presumptuous after all." as she spoke, Renée began lining them up on the table. They ranged in size from "the length and width of 2 fingers" to "how would this ever fit inside anyone?!", and Cass sent Steph a predatory smile that made it absolutely clear which of them would be the first to wear the harness.

"Lube, as well as flavored lube, because not everyone is able to conjure Niagara falls between their thigh at the first mention of titties." Kate stared accusatively at her wife, and both the brides groaned in disgust. "TMI aunt Kate, T M I!" Steph yelled from her seat in Cass's lap.

"We've also got you ballgags, and in this case we specifically mean you Cass, because we thought you might need a break from Steph once in a while." Renée placed the gag in Cass's hand, who replied. "Won't but thanks."

And they kept going like that until Bruce had nearly choked himself to death with how hard he was clutching his pearls. The cat o' nine tails had in the meantime become Cass's favorite fidget toy, and Steph was finding it ever hard not to think about trying a hitachi wand.

 

Luckily Kate and Renée's performance seemed to have drained the rest of the guests of what little energy they had left. People started leaving in droves, either to go home, or in Kate, Renée's and Dinah's case to find a sleazy bar to get in a fight at.

Babs drove them home, and Steph managed to sneakily throw some of their new toys along with a waffle iron into a backpack before they left.

Safely home and naked in bed together, Steph looked at Cass solemnly. "Ready for your first night as a woman?" She asked, doing a bad parody of Azrael's voice, and Cass laughed so hard she started choking on air.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also tell me i'm a human disaster on tumblr at https://offbrand-valk.tumblr.com/


End file.
